the young detective

Task description
this week we wrote a narrative it was about a young detective looking for a key and he got it as a gift and he needs to find it and after we wrote our story we peer edited it on Thursday we shared our story with someone and they reviewed it and commented what was wrong.




Young Detective

pobble365

It had been three days since it had gone missing. One minute he had held it in his hand, the next it had vanished. How could it just have disappeared? It had been right in front of his eyes!

He had been warned about what would happen if he lost it. His mission had been to guard the key with his life, ever since they visited him last summer.

Adam had always had a detective’s instinct. They had told him as much. He had been chosen because he had certain skills, and he would need them more than ever now.

Only one clue had seemingly been left, which was sat on the living room table.

Holding the magnifying glass up to his eye, Adam began to investigate… he found himself in his dad’s room searching up and down side to side but nothing. He checked the toilet he found some hand or foot prints he couldn't identify. But it wasn't eany normal prints. His dad had a vent above his cupboard in his bathroom. It was big. He had to analyse it very well. It had some hair and Adam left it as a clue and took the piece of hair. He investigated the library his dad was reading his favourite book in “are you ok you look like you lost something”

 adams dad said “have you seen anything weird around here” 

Adam asked dad he replied “no” 

Dad had to leave for shopping. Adam was alone, the clue on the table he left to investigate a little more he went into the kitchen and found nothing. The lights dimmed a little bit and the house shook a little and Adam was very suspicious. He went into the power room and took a flashlight. It was pitch black, silence dripping water, a power box buzzing and a big room. The power room had the power box in it, some pipes and a lot of boxes. Adam went into the middle of the room there was a opening in the roof a big one Adam decided to climb into it he was crawling through the vents coughing and going blind from all the dust from his every move he found his way out so he could get a mask. He climbed down the ladder and heard something in the mountain of boxes he grabbed his X Ray vision goggles and searched. He looked very cautiously. “Whos there”

“Your worst nightmare” 

A demonic voice said “I know what you're looking for and to find it you have to look in the right places in the right time or you will not earn what you desire”

Adam ran up the stairs and shut the door. He went into the vent in his dads room with a mask and a flashlight. He shut the vent behind him.

to be continued.